Wild Hearts || Richard (rchardriders) & Peter (shootingstarlord)

shootingstarlord:

rchardriders:

His hair stood at the sudden movement, shoulders tensing at the strong grasp. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come back at all.” Richard was shouting back, brain processing words that only he wanted to hear. “Maybe I should have just stayed dead! What’s the point anyway?”

“You know what? Your father thought we were in a relationship… Good thing we weren’t because you couldn’t even trust me enough with who you really are!” Richard’s laugh was rough, bitter and void of humour. This wasn’t how this conversation was supposed to go, it was supposed to be them joking about the impossibility of the whole thing. This was why Peter should have let him go.

This… This argument had blown up in their faces — his face. He should have talked it out, should have been more understanding. Reckless, Worldmind had called him. “Finally, some honesty.” He should been worried about all that, about what J’son was doing, had done, to the galaxy, to Peter. About how the King he met was so different than what Peter had experienced. But Richard wasn’t thinking rationally, they both weren’t. What was he even saying? Why was he even saying it? It didn’t even make any sense.

“I don’t care. I don’t care about any of that. I don’t care that you’re Prince or a murderer or a thief or anything.” He pointed at Peter’s heart, “I care that you didn’t tell me and I had to find it out for myself, find it out from someone other than you. I just — Fuck.” It sounded so strange coming from his mouth, he’d never, never cursed. Even when he’d died, when he lost the Corps not once, not twice, but three times. Even when he’d lost people. It felt so foreign. But he didn’t care. “Fuck.” He repeated, for the hell of it. “I’m sorry. I just — I just think that maybe… I’m sorry.”

Only now when his anger was, he wouldn’t say subdued, but controlled, that he let the words register. About Gamora, about the King, about chains. Richard bowed his head down, and ran a hand through his hair before it let it fall to the side like it was tied down by weights. He couldn’t help but think back to the time he was this unreasonable, when he thought he was crazy, when he was dying.

_{Gobsmacked was a word Peter had never really thought about applying to anything but here he was feeling absolutely gobsmacked. Richard was swearing at him. Richard. The nerd that hand’t even swore when the galaxy was coming down around their ears during apocalyptic alien WW3. Hadn’t even yelled a curse at Thanos when they went to take him down. Oh god, Thanos, Rich still didn’t know.} 

_{He bites down on the, ‘My dad thought what?’ because really wasn’t as important as what Richard had said before that and just steamrolled through with the rest of his rant.} 

_{“Stop! Just stop. Just— don’t you dare say that don’t you dare say that you should have stayed dead, just don’t,” it’s a plea, plain and simple. It was just one secret. Did Richard really feel that betrayed that he would wish to be dead over facing him?}

_{Fuck. “That’s another thing I’ve been trying to find the right time to tell you. That giant purple penis eater still lives. I’ve tried to kill him twice since coming back, and never even come close to making it happen. Hell, Gamora almost killed me when she found out that I failed, but feel free to take a shot at me for that too. At least you heard it from me this time,” and hell, he couldn’t even look at Richard’s face right now. He couldn’t bear to see the disappointment, or the anger. Or whatever Richard was probably feeling now.}

_{Fuck— he’s going to rip his hair out this isn’t the way any of this was supposed to go.  ”Well that’s pretty much all my secrets, except for one,” mumbles, and he sounds tired. So tired. Why not share that one too? He’s going to ask anyway. Sounding all outraged, he can just imagine it. ‘What more secrets? Don’t you trust me, Peter?’ But he can’t just come out and say it. Not like this. “And it’s not because I don’t trust you, Rich, I trust more than I trust anyone in this d’ast universe. It’s just because I’m pathetic.” A pathetic failure that’s in love with his best friend who would rather be dead than be around him right now.} 

"Why do you even care? I mean look, one less person you have to keep secrets from.” He gestured vaguely at himself, and probably had a brittle smile plastered on his face, vision blur from half shed tears.

He would have laughed at the nickname if the conversation (if it could be called that) they were having wasn’t so serious, if the tension between them wasn’t palpable. He directed his anger away from Peter to Thanos, glad for the change of target. He was still mad at his friend for keeping this under wraps too, but he was furious at Thanos.

“You mean that everything we sacrificed, the three years, the countless lives was for nothing? If we weren’t having this conversation, you’d think maybe we’d run into that bastard someday and then you can act all shocked that he returned too?” Great, he’s attacking his friend again…

“Like you said once, maybe I shouldn’t trust anything you say.” Wow, that was a low blow. He couldn’t believe he had just said that. Shit — He’d said he was sorry and here he was shouting at Peter again. He wanted to punch himself, and probably leave before he said anything more damaging to their relationship.

‘Anything else you keeping from me?’ He wanted to say, but he just couldn’t, couldn’t bring himself to care, if Peter wanted to keep secrets from him… He could do what he liked, Peter was entitled to keeping secrets, everyone had secrets. Richard shouldn’t have exploded at him…

“You know what your problem is? You don’t let anyone in. You — I love you Pete, you’re like a brother to me, and you know you can tell me anything right? Pete? I mean I get why you didn’t want to, but you can, and it hurts because you don’t feel that that’s true.